Life, Silliness, and the Pursuit of Imperfection: In Pursuit of Internet

So say we, the people, that whosoever does not have Internet will be forced to do actual housework.

Or so it seems. My 3-day quest for Internet has paid dividends, though, so I'm back to being half as productive. OR SO IT SEEMS. But I'm getting ahead of myself. And the pile of dirty laundry, so here's the story.

In ordering online, I could go with A. company, that charges $100.00 for their proprietary equipment but said they could give me service, or B. company that charges $100.00 for install and were pretty sure they could deliver. Of course I went with the one that guaranteed me Internet. Because I am nothing if not an Internet junkie. Just the facts, man.

So Monday I get home from work, very, VERY excited because I have been living for a week and a half in an apartment with no Internet (and no access to say, weather reports or traffic jams). It's tough. These are the dark times. Or they would be if darker times weren't ahead.

I received a box from company A on Monday night. Opened it. And found a modem/router mix that connected to a phone jack. Don't you think someone would have mentioned a phone jack was necessary? So after the impending breakdown (seriously dudes, Internet is important), I called and said "yo, why you need phone line and not tell me?" and lady said "poo poo. Sorry, but they should have said" (she was really, really understanding. I wish I remembered her name cause she gets props.) I hung up the phone with the intention of making a stink on Tuesday, but in the meantime called my BFIBR (best friend in baton rouge) for a shoulder to cry on. She said "OK! Hugs! Then we go searching" (she's really good for comfort then solving the problem. It's awesome)

We searched low then high and found one in the second bedroom. I proceeded and failed to set up the Internet up there, at which point I called company A again and they said they'd send someone out on Tuesday. I went to sleep, exhausted. Like I do.

Tuesday morning comes around and I feel like 7-layer taco dip of sh*$. One that had been left out in the sun all day at the family picnic and when time comes to put up all the food, no one is quite sure if it's still good so they leave it sitting for a while longer. That was me. So I dragged myself to Walgreen's for antibiotics (for a bite of indeterminate nature that looked a bit nasty. Maybe that was part of the reason I felt so bad?) and dragged myself back to the house for a nap. Dude woke me up (not his fault but I was glad I was sleeping downstairs) and proceeded to try to find me Internet.

It turns out the one I was trying to use upstairs wasn't connected to anything. I plead exhaustion.

Since the only other jack didn't work, he installed one for me. I should have baked him cookies or something but I think he just felt bad for me. Either way, I'll take not having to pay another hundred dollars! On the other hand, it still wasn't connected. Someone ELSE had to come out and connect something outside.

At this point, I'm feeling about like this